How to explain to more normative friends....?

I don't like marriage as an institution. Never have. I announced when I was five that I was never getting married and I still feel that way. Marriage in the west has been traditionally an unequal relationship where one person is treated as lesser (and in some cases property). Until the late 70's it was legal is some parts of this country for a woman to be d by her husband. It gives certain types of families legal rights over others (ie two person romantic couples (hetero now, but even in a world with gay marriage, still and issue). So, while I think that any form of legalized discrimination is bullshit and that gay marriage bans are unconstitutional (see Loving v Virgina and Lawrence v Texas), I don't want to work on marriage initiatives because I hate marriage in general. How do I get other queer people (LGBT) to understand that my refusal to do activism for marriage or DADT is because I have deep issues with the institution of marriage and with militarism (I'm also a pacifist) and not because I have some kind of internalized self hate?